Merry Christmas!

For many people Christmas is about giving gifts. We buy gifts for loved ones and friends. We have cherished memories of gifts we’ve received. But for those of us who are Christian, Christmas is first and foremost about the birth of Jesus. In the biblical gospels we get two different versions of the story of Jesus’ birth, which we tend to consolidate into one. But for me the story of Jesus’ birth is summarized by what is perhaps the most famous single verse in the New Testament:¹ For God so loved the world that God gave their only begotten child, that whosoever should trust in them will not perish but have eternal life.

Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

God demonstrates their love for us in the birth of a small child named Jesus. Love isn’t a physical attraction, but it is to care deeply for another. Love is compassion and empathy, feeling what others feel, knowing their struggles and fears. But it doesn’t stop there. Love means actively helping, supporting, and nurturing those we love. And so God gave a piece of God’s self, born into human form, so we would know that God understands the pain as well as the joy of being human. God cared so much about what happens to the world and so badly wanted people to be happy and fulfilled, that God gave us Jesus as our guide and teacher to support and nurture us, to advocate for justice in the world, and reveal to us the Way to our healing and wholeness (which is another way of saying “eternal life”). Saving us by re-shaping humanity with peace and goodwill.

In Jesus’ birth we see that love is a gift of the self. Jesus is the embodiment of God’s love, God’s very self. The apostle Paul proclaims that if God will give such a gift then surely God will give us everything we need to achieve wholeness as beings created in and of God’s love.² No one and no thing, Paul asserts, has the power to keep us from the love of God that comes to us in Jesus. That’s because like Jesus, we too are slices of the Divine, bits of love born into this world. Nothing can separate us from God’s love because that love is a fundamental part of our very being.

Think about that. Are each of us, like Jesus, also meant to be gifts of love to the world? Aren’t we then also meant to share our love with the world, to give our selves to the world? Isn’t it the very nature of love, as known in God through Jesus, to be given away, freely and unconditionally? Human beings are actually hardwired to be givers. Studies show that gift-giving causes a pleasure reaction in our brain, but more than that, it activates the parts of the brain that are related to feelings of trust, safety, and connection. Giving brings us closer together. It creates community. To love is to give. Feeling close to someone, caring deeply for them, seeing those around us as extensions of ourselves, which are all a part of love as compassion and empathy, creates within us a desire to engage in acts of kindness, to give. Likewise, when we do something nice for someone, we feel closer to them. To give is to love.

When gift giving feels like an obligation it can be stressful, but truly giving of ourselves should be done from a place of love and not obligation. We don’t need to put expectations on it, but we can give without expecting anything, any kind of certain reaction or a gift in return. We let go of our worries about whether the gift will be good enough, whether the person will like it, and so on. And, of course, gift-giving needn’t involve physical things at all. There are so many ways we can give that don’t involve buying something for someone. We can give simple gifts of kindness like helping someone with something they’ve struggled with or giving them a compliment and telling them how much they mean to us.

Gift-giving, like love, is also a two-way action. We not only give of ourselves, but we receive the gift of others. Sometimes it’s harder to accept a gift than it is to give it. We might think it makes us look weak and dependent in a culture that tells us we’re supposed to be strong and not need anyone else. Receiving a gift can also be an intimate act. We might feel vulnerable by letting someone’s love into our lives. But being vulnerable and admitting our interdependence with each other is what community is about. It’s what love is about.

God’s gift of love comes to us again this Christmas, given with compassion and empathy, so we might find healing and wholeness. Will we accept the gift of unconditional love? Will we make ourselves vulnerable? Will we come together in community to heal, support, and nurture each other? As we celebrate Christmas this year, I invite us to reflect on love as a gift and ask ourselves: How can we share the gift of our loving selves every day? How might we make every day Christmas?

Howard Thurman wrote a wonderful little poem called “The Work of Christmas.”

When the song of the angels is stilled,
When the star in the sky is gone,
When the kings and princes are home,
When the shepherds are back with their flock,
The work of Christmas begins:
To find the lost,
To heal the broken,
To feed the hungry,
To release the prisoner,
To rebuild the nations,
To bring peace among others,
To make music in the heart.

To this I add, the work of Christmas is to give the gift of love. May we all be a blessing of love to everyone we meet, every day of our lives, doing the work of Christmas.

1. John 3:16 (my paraphrase)

2. Romans 8:31-39