Finding Joy
It’s a little strange to talk about joy in a world that seems to be so full of sadness, fear, and anger. A world that too often seems to be fueled by selfishness and cruelty. On the other hand, maybe when happiness becomes elusive is exactly the time we need to remind ourselves of the joy to be discovered within our own being.
The late Archbishop Desmond Tutu said that “Joy is much bigger than happiness. While happiness is often seen as being dependent on external circumstances, joy is not.”1 Happiness is wonderful but it’s an emotion that comes from what is going on around us. We’re happy when good things happen, which are often out of our control, such as when someone gives us a compliment or we get a raise. Happiness is fleeting and dependent on our circumstances. It can come and go in a matter of days, hours, and even minutes. But, as Archbishop Tutu said, joy is more than that.
Joy is a lasting love of life and it comes from within us. It’s a state of mind, a perspective we can choose. For example, when we lose a job, do we see it as a disaster or as an opportunity? When our car breaks down, do we see it as a sign that life hates us or is it a temporary inconvenience? When the sky is gray and streets are snow covered, do we think “oh what an awful day” or do we see the wonderful beauty of a hibernating world biding its time before it springs into life again? When something bad happens do we fall into despair, filled with fear and anxiety? Or do we refuse to see life as anything but an opportunity-filled adventure?
Of course, desiring to be of a joyful mind doesn’t mean we can easily flip a switch and suddenly our entire perspective is transformed. Our capability for joy is within us but we have to uncover it and nurture it like a seed, helping it grow. That doesn’t happen overnight. In their book “The Book of Joy”, Tutu and the Dalai Lama offer us “The Eight Pillars of Joy.” These are 8 things we can cultivate in our lives that will lead us to a joyful mind.
If we want to let our joy shine into the world so others might better experience the healing it brings, then we might consider picking one or two of these pillars to reflect and work on. Maybe even consider making them a New Year’s resolution.
The 8 pillars are:
Perspective – Looking at life from different view points expands our understanding and reduces fear and anxiety.
Humility – As wonderfully created as we are and as loved as we are, we are not set above any other person. Humility helps us embrace our commonality and interdependence.
Humor – Being able to laugh at ourselves reminds us of our shared humanity and connects us.
Acceptance – Accepting the realities of life strengthens us and helps us understand more clearly, staying away from the pitfalls of living in denial.
Forgiveness – Let go of past pain so we can live in the present and see the possibilities of the future.
Gratitude – Seeing life’s abundance instead of scarcity. Appreciating that even our suffering has helped shape us and given us the opportunity for growth.
Compassion – Helping and serving with empathy, respect and kindness.
Generosity – Sharing who we are and what we have with those around us.
These 8 pillars of joy are all about how we understand life. They ask us to view the world from a wider perspective rather than just a me-focused outlook. They ask us to let others into our lives instead of building walls. They invite us tohelp and support each other and create healthy relationships. When we nurture these pillars of joy, we see more easily all of the goodness and love in the world. We better understand the inherent worth and beauty of all people and the earth. We begin to see the world differently, which will itself change the world since people tend to live up to expectations. If we expect more love and goodness, we’ll find and create more love and goodness in the world. We’ll begin to heal and transform the world, re-creating it how it should be, a world of hope, peace, love, and justice. We’ll create joy in ourselves and the world around us.
1. The Book of Joy (by the Dalai Lama, Desmond Tutu, and Douglas Abrams), page 3.